Sunday, March 3, 2013
I'll be honest. Since Seth died, I dislike "new chapters". Something about the concept of 'starting over' feels a lot like 'leaving behind'. I don't want Seth left behind. Just because he's not a daily part of our lives, doesn't mean he's not part of our family, for eternity even.
Nonetheless, he is NOT here and NOT part of our daily lives.
A lot of time has passed. Since Seth. Since I blogged last.
We are doing well. Really. It surprises me a bit sometimes. Seth would be turning five the end of this month. FIVE. Five is Kindergarten and end of early childhood. I just had a conversation with Cary this morning about the fact that Seth would be five and it's hard to wrap our brains around all that.
Over New Year's, a friend on Facebook posted the six questions that James Lipton asks as part of "The Actor's Studio" interviews. I only remember the sixth question; "What do you want to hear God say when you get to Heaven?" For a long time after Seth died, my reaction to Heaven was along these lines: I could go to Heaven ANYTIME and be reunited with Seth and oh yeah, Jesus will be there too. That has changed.
After a bit of thought, my answer to that question is this:
:Well done good and faithful servant! SETH, your mama is here!".
The more I thought about that answer the more I liked the picture of Seth being so busy playing in Heaven, God has to get his attention for me when I get there. Yup, for now, I can live with that.